In my opinion, if you’re an average American, driving in the UK is something best left to the experts. A car might be useful if you’re British, or careful, or both. But cars are tricky for non-Brits who only find them convenient if they can steer like Zaphod Beeblebrox, with the extra arm they recently had fitted. The lack of limb addition services available at Heathrow is a major reason why I’ve partnered with International Friends, a coach tour company, for my Douglas Adams Forty-Two Places Tour.
During my pilgrimage in 2015, rental cars were predominantly manual, like this minty little Fiat my friend Carrie had arranged for us to rent. Despite asking explicitly for an automatic, it was this or not get to see Jodrell Bank Observatory.
I didn’t manage to have a fifth limb installed, so driving practice was in order. I couldn’t find a place to practice, so off we went. It was the only time I drove on my 42 Places quest and I absolutely regretted it.
We went from York to Jodrell Bank Observatory and back. It wasn’t an out-and-back route though. In order to stop off at a few of the towns mentioned in The Meaning of Liff, we picked a route that took us through the northern end of the Peak District. Emphasis on Peak.
I quickly learned that to drive anywhere in the UK, you must have a lot of left.
Drive on the left side.
Shift with the left hand and left foot.
Turn signals are also on the left.
Expect that whatever patience or chutzpah you began with, when you finish, there will be none left.
If you go it alone and plan to visit a lot of out-of-the-way-places on your Douglas Adams Tour, you may have no choice left. Instead, join us on the 42 Places Tour, let a professional drive for you, and avoid my pain.
By the end of about six hours of driving, my legs, arms, and neck were cramping up horribly. Something about the small car, the shifting, the opposite–EVERYTHING–meant that my body had no idea how to drive.
One reason it took us so long to get home was that all the cramping felt very dangerous. I kept pulling over to stretch and get the pins and needles out of my legs, feet, and arms.
Whatever you do, do NOT let this woman drive you around the UK without a lot more practice (or an automatic car!).
What do you think?