Sometimes, Yvette, life is like reading a book. Days, weeks, even years just repeat themselves… until you turn the page.
Tallyho,
theuniverse@tut.com
The Universe
Dear Friends, Family, and Cheerleaders-at-Large,
It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me.
Sorry about that, but I trust you know why and had too much of your own life going on to miss my missives. Happy Friday!
I’m feeling ecstatic to have made it to the end of the week. Since my husband began working from home in March, the “workday” and “work-week” feel regimented. That’s not a bad thing.
Work on my literary tourism book, Forty-Two Places, stalled in early April when it became clear that no one would be traveling anywhere anytime soon.
It wasn’t an option to visit my friend and his family in France for a month. We didn’t get to take an anniversary trip. I couldn’t boot-test my Douglas Adams Walks in London or Cambridge.
Planning for the triumphant 42nd Anniversary Forty-Two Places Tours of the UK in 2021-23 is paused indefinitely.
I’ve been adjusting to all of that. Adapting to life sheltering in place. Monitoring my unwell Aunt’s condition. Grieving the killing of African Americans. Marshaling self-pep talks about potential. Clinging to the politics of hope.
I also decided to backfill my time by up-leveling some skills. I signed up for a Beginner Sketch Writing class that I had put off from 2018. Here’s an excerpt from one of my sketches:
“LUNCH IS ON YOU”
SALLY – Late 20’s
DEIRDRE – Late 20’s
(Scene opens in a Grocery store aisle. Sally and Deirdre approach from opposite directions. Each pushes a shopping cart. Deirdre struggles–her cart has a broken wheel. Deirdre sees Sally, tries to turn her cart to avoid her, but can’t because of the wheel.
BLOCKING: As the scene progresses, for each line of dialog, a character takes one step forward – Sally smoothly and Deirdre with difficulty.)
SALLY
Hello, Deirdre. You missed our lunch date.
DEIRDRE
Sally! Nice to see you. I’m sorry about that. The morning just got away with me. You know how it is.
SALLY (Gets groceries from shelf and places in cart.)
No I don’t. When I say I’ll meet someone for lunch. I show up.
DEIRDRE (Struggles, puts groceries in cart.)
I know you do, but that slide deck for the board meeting needed changes at the last minute…
SALLY
You could have texted.
DEIRDRE (struggles)
Damn! This stupid cart has a broken wheel.
SALLY (menacing)
I ate alone.
DEIRDRE (Cart resists. Pushes hard enough that the wheel gives and she lurches forward, standing inches away from Sally. Deirdre looks at Sally, then looks at the aisle behind her.)
You’re blocking the kidney beans.
SALLY (Rolls cart back one step, both hands firmly on the shopping cart.)
Help yourself.
DEIRDRE (Hesitates to get in front of Sally’s cart. Leans over to grab one can of beans, jumps back. Leans over to grab a second can, ready to jump out of the way.)
Thanks. I’m making chili for the potluck lunch on Friday.
SALLY (Pushes her cart past Deirdre)
Good to know. I’ll pack a lunch in case you forget to show up.
DEIRDRE (Trying to push her cart and storm off, but it veers into Sally’s side of the aisle with a crash, making a mess)
You do that!
I accepted an invitation to join a group collectively reading and practicing creativity exercises from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way (TAW).
Treating a lack of creativity like an addiction that might destroy your life is…interesting. I struggle to remain open-minded about this 12-step program that promises to cure me (or at least reduce the ill-effects) of denying my inner writer.
I’m halfway through and I love the process. I’ll be sure and report back after I finish all 12 weeks. In the meantime, here’s a quotation I particularly like. It’s hard to choose one. The book is 90% quotable sentences, and 10% inspiring quotes from other artists:
An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing. Defending our right to such time takes courage, conviction, and resiliency. Such time, space, and quiet will strike our family and friends as a withdrawal from them. It is.
Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way
In long-ago times BQ (before quarantine), I tried twice to read TAW. I could never get past the first chapter. The book focuses on the artist digging deeply within themselves via exercises, writing, and “Artist’s Dates.” Deep introspection and solitary participation are basics of the book…and I hate being alone.
For my whole life, I have avoided isolation like the pla…Coronavirus.
I’m out of avoidance options. So it seemed like a “right time.” This quote is perfect for me because for months I’ve had little choice but to withdraw from everyone, knowing I could be with no one.
I’ve had months to hang out with myself.
It’s nice to report to you, my amazing cheerleaders, that I’m fairly good company. I never want for interesting things to do. I have a lot of skills. I’m generous with my time (too generous?). TAW has helped me learn a helluhva lot about me, but there’s always more work to do.
Many of the challenges and exercises in the book are emotionally difficult. For example, I did a 12-hour media and reading blackout. Every time I reached for my phone, I cringed. When I’m bored or sad or angry, all I want to do is distract myself with a good book. NOPE.
The exercise exposed how I rely on the distraction of outside information to prevent myself from thinking too much and feeling too deeply.
The upside is that I’ve been having more fun just being with me. Turns out, I find collage comforting and exciting simultaneously.
It is a half-truth to say I miss you. I really do, I want the pandemic to be over so I can hug you all. However, I’m learning how to be happy not-having-you, my supporters, my readers, my listeners, my audience, in the back of my mind, with me all the time. It is OK for this extrovert to be alone.
It feels different to do art ONLY for myself. Or for…you know…ART.
Kinda Good. Kinda Ambivalent. Kinda Bad. Not really sure yet.
So there you go: I’ve written up what I have been up to. I’ve shared and invited you (as promised) to stay on this writerly, readerly, artisanal journey with me.
It’s messy. Very messy. But I’m grateful you’re on it with me. I still have a lot of growing to do inside, even though my outside growth plateaued at 5′ 8″ years ago.
Thank you for your support in helping me grow.
What do you think?