Some Things Missing

Holiday Reality: I visited my niece and her family over the weekend. That love makes being back at home today harder.

I miss my Dad, who would’ve been 77 yesterday. I miss my Mom, who would’ve been 74. I miss my aunt, my mentor-first-hardresser, and teachers who’ve passed. I miss my mother-in-law & her partner, the sibling of my childhood. I miss my once-were-and-are-not-now-friends, and even my not-right-now-friends.

There’s just too much missing in my life for it to feel like a holiday.

If you feel like this too, I thought I’d let you know you’re not alone.

The dog missed me while I was away, so at the negative tide, in a light rain, he walked me to the beach.

We picked up dog poop for the sea lions and otters and ocean life that might get sick from dog crap in the ecosystem. (Not really for the negligent dog owners.)

We cleared away blue water bottle tops and plastic shards, plus a jagged dagger of broken trash can. Much, but not all, of a purple frisbee. Iceberg shaped white styrofoam, nerf darts, a mini vodka bottle. It all went into the bag, as I tried to make myself feel better.

I don’t feel better, but I do feel tired, excited for the oblivion of a nap.

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